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The plight of humanity, the USB connection

by savannah
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What is the hardest part of your everyday life? Is it sitting on the inside seat of a bus and having to ask the person beside you to move? Is it reaching the back teeth with your floss? Is it remembering to hang up the washing after the wash cycle finishes? No. It is none of these things. Everyone knows the hardest part of life is trying to plug in a USB connection. 

The standard USB connection is rectangular and slots into most computers and electronic devices. You must match it the correct way with the device you are plugging it into or it won’t fit. This gives you a 50-50 chance of success every time. And yet, it usually takes three goes to get it right. This impossibility is surely one of the most frustrating things about life that is unfair and cruel. 

How is it possible that it takes three tries, every time. Is it a commentary on humanity’s acceptance of failure that when we try the first attempt and it is ready to slot in, we already assume the worst and flip it over? Would Churchill have got it the USB connection right on the first try? Would Napoleon? Would Ghengis Khan? 

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The USB C has now been released which means you can slot it into a PC either way up, this revolutionary invention, while welcome, is also a bit annoying as now we have to get all new cables for our devices. It appears we truly are damned as a species as even the solution to the world’s largest problem is just a new problem to face.

As someone who is incredibly cheap, I will continue to battle every day with my standard USB connection and hope that one day I will get it right on the first try.

*Please note this article was written with extreme sarcasm and we are well aware of the real and genuine problems in this world. Still, that USB thing is pretty annoying though, right?

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